As a dad, I often get a pass. Nobody ever EXPECTS me to have spare wet wipes. People are just impressed that I’ve managed to avoid dropping the kids into the nearest body of water.
But I still feel that parental pressure. This is a good reminder that I’m not alone.
The low expectations people often have for dads are a problem of their own! (Not sure my singulars and plurals agreed in that sentence.) It's nice to hear you understand that feeling of pressure too, although I'm sorry you feel it. Maybe we are all too hard on ourselves.
Another achingly poignant essay about parenthood, Amy. Your honesty is a bastion of bravery in this time of perfection à la IG. Something that I learned in the last half of my teaching career was conative styles of doing things, (thank you autocorrect, but no I did not mean cognitive) from building a flat pack bookcase to parenting children. There are four main styles, with many sub-styles as well. Basically, once I learned the four basic styles I was able to be a better teacher because I didn’t expect all first graders to embark on a task the same way. How they got through the task was up to them using the conative style that was their default.
If I had a daughter who had small children, and if, and only if, she asked me, I would explain the conative styles more fully. (But wait! I do have such a daughter.) Each parent approaches parenting in the style that is most comfortable for them. Hence, the CVS mom took the super organized, over-stuffed diaper bag with new wipes and plenty of toys and snacks route because that most likely soothed her anxiety about having to wait in CVS with her toddler. Your style of parenting is most likely a bit more “I’ll figure it out when I get there.” Neither is right or wrong, just different ways of being good moms.
I lived on the high of having one Saturday morning's "Second Worst Behaved Child on the Playground" for a week or more. I've long been the Mom With No Chill helicoptering my toddler tornado, and it was often nice to imagine I was making other moms feel good about themselves 🤣 great essay!
As a dad, I often get a pass. Nobody ever EXPECTS me to have spare wet wipes. People are just impressed that I’ve managed to avoid dropping the kids into the nearest body of water.
But I still feel that parental pressure. This is a good reminder that I’m not alone.
The low expectations people often have for dads are a problem of their own! (Not sure my singulars and plurals agreed in that sentence.) It's nice to hear you understand that feeling of pressure too, although I'm sorry you feel it. Maybe we are all too hard on ourselves.
Well said!! Let us all know that we too will have our time to shine!! ☺️
Another achingly poignant essay about parenthood, Amy. Your honesty is a bastion of bravery in this time of perfection à la IG. Something that I learned in the last half of my teaching career was conative styles of doing things, (thank you autocorrect, but no I did not mean cognitive) from building a flat pack bookcase to parenting children. There are four main styles, with many sub-styles as well. Basically, once I learned the four basic styles I was able to be a better teacher because I didn’t expect all first graders to embark on a task the same way. How they got through the task was up to them using the conative style that was their default.
If I had a daughter who had small children, and if, and only if, she asked me, I would explain the conative styles more fully. (But wait! I do have such a daughter.) Each parent approaches parenting in the style that is most comfortable for them. Hence, the CVS mom took the super organized, over-stuffed diaper bag with new wipes and plenty of toys and snacks route because that most likely soothed her anxiety about having to wait in CVS with her toddler. Your style of parenting is most likely a bit more “I’ll figure it out when I get there.” Neither is right or wrong, just different ways of being good moms.
Thank you, Amy and well done!
I lived on the high of having one Saturday morning's "Second Worst Behaved Child on the Playground" for a week or more. I've long been the Mom With No Chill helicoptering my toddler tornado, and it was often nice to imagine I was making other moms feel good about themselves 🤣 great essay!