Yes! I enjoy cooking when I can focus on it without interruptions. Cooking with small children underfoot (or large children running noisily through the kitchen) is a pain.
And trying to involve toddlers into the cooking is an even bigger pain! I do wish I said yes more often to the bigger kids when they want to help. That usually goes better and I think it’s really good for them to be involved. But it changes the experience for me and usually I just want to cook by myself.
I hear you - I struggle with the balance of “they’d so enjoy helping!” And “but I would enjoy time to do this in a focused way.” I am trying really hard to lean into the enrichment experiences I enjoy (I will read books or do yoga/dance party any day) and give my permission to simply NOT do it when I don’t want to.
Yeah, it's tough because I have fond memories of helping my mom bake cookies as a little kid, and I learned a lot of baking skills from her. I want to give that to my kids! Just not today!
Also, I got one of those stools and my kid used it to *constantly* climb on the counter. We ended up giving it away, but if throwing it in a volcano was an option, we would have taken it.
That’s *wild* about Patriarchy Hannah (I’ve been off X completely since November). If memory serves she got into it with another autism mom where she praised one of those “starve the autism out” sort of diets for working on her own teenage daughter.
WHAT? In fairness, I only saw her pop up a few times in The Discourse before she was revealed but that tracks (because, of course, she is fake and so was that story).
I love to cook and bake, and I love the idea of sharing it with my two-year-old, but I’ve learned from experience that we can only manage it when there’s very little time or quality pressure. Essentially that means we just bake for home consumption, or make pancakes for breakfast on non-daycare days - nothing for other people where I have to worry about her putting the spoon in her mouth and back in the bowl, and nothing where a meal needs to get on the table! Even then, I sometimes wonder whether the stress is worth it…
Gosh, this is my experience exactly. The one thing that has shifted over the years (my oldest is ten now) was that I started having friends over to cook together (weekend lunch, not weekday dinner). Improving the grown-up-to-kid-ratio made it possible for the kids to help a little without me losing it :)
Let those things go. As a GenXer - hell our parents didn't play with us! I didn't go to camp! I was in Girl Scouts and after I quit that, anything I did was through school. They did spring for the flute, for the free lessons at school.
I do feel like there is a culture shift among Millennials of doing EVERYTHING with kids which I can't really participate in - because I cannot! That said, I do enjoy doing some of the things! Just not all of them, and not all the time, and I think that's probably true of most of us. I genuinely love traveling with my kids and I like to do art, pool, just ... not cooking never cooking.
Yesss I have considered getting those fancy stools and finally was like, yeah I’m never doing this. Foldable, ugly step stool it is. I don’t like maniacally cooking while kids want to also participate, but I do have to slow down and remember they just want to learn and it’s good and all the things. It’s a balance for me, not doing the “all in and helping” all the time and not fully - get out of my kitchen! It’s okay to not enjoy every part perfectly and that was a lesson I had to learn after awhile.
My best friend makes blackberry jam with her daughter every year. The jam judges me. It hates me. Because I cannot make jam. I definitely cannot make jam with my daughter. For the record, my BFF does not care I do not make jam. My husband does not care. But it still bothers me. That blackberry jam. That my daughter won't even eat; she likes grape jelly.
I can make volcanoes and milk plastic. I know which light in the night sky is Jupiter. I make dinosaur fossils she can crack open with her tiny hands. Then we eat PB & J. The J stands for "Welch's Squeeze Concord Grape Jelly".
Cooking with small children sounds terrifying and unsafe. My mom (I'm older Gen X) would let is be in the kitchen and would talk with us while she was cooking, but not over by the stove or doing things we could get hurt by. As we got older she would let us perform age-appropriate tasks, then more complex things. As teens we were allowed to start planning an preparing meals if we wanted to. Her approach kept us safe, her sane, and the family from eating too many gross meals.
Young children learning that some things and places aren't ok for them - yet - is as important as them learning new skills. Staying away from danger and not screwing things up is important too.
Yes! I enjoy cooking when I can focus on it without interruptions. Cooking with small children underfoot (or large children running noisily through the kitchen) is a pain.
And trying to involve toddlers into the cooking is an even bigger pain! I do wish I said yes more often to the bigger kids when they want to help. That usually goes better and I think it’s really good for them to be involved. But it changes the experience for me and usually I just want to cook by myself.
I hear you - I struggle with the balance of “they’d so enjoy helping!” And “but I would enjoy time to do this in a focused way.” I am trying really hard to lean into the enrichment experiences I enjoy (I will read books or do yoga/dance party any day) and give my permission to simply NOT do it when I don’t want to.
Yeah, it's tough because I have fond memories of helping my mom bake cookies as a little kid, and I learned a lot of baking skills from her. I want to give that to my kids! Just not today!
Also, I got one of those stools and my kid used it to *constantly* climb on the counter. We ended up giving it away, but if throwing it in a volcano was an option, we would have taken it.
As the mom of the kid who climbed into the vent, you have my solidarity!
That’s *wild* about Patriarchy Hannah (I’ve been off X completely since November). If memory serves she got into it with another autism mom where she praised one of those “starve the autism out” sort of diets for working on her own teenage daughter.
WHAT? In fairness, I only saw her pop up a few times in The Discourse before she was revealed but that tracks (because, of course, she is fake and so was that story).
Yes, you are enough and a great cook!! P.S. I do not think we ever cooked together when you were
pre-k! I think you did cook with Grammy. I always wondered how she did this, but I now see that being a grandma is a whole different “recipe”!!
I love to cook and bake, and I love the idea of sharing it with my two-year-old, but I’ve learned from experience that we can only manage it when there’s very little time or quality pressure. Essentially that means we just bake for home consumption, or make pancakes for breakfast on non-daycare days - nothing for other people where I have to worry about her putting the spoon in her mouth and back in the bowl, and nothing where a meal needs to get on the table! Even then, I sometimes wonder whether the stress is worth it…
Same! The conditions have to be EXACTLY RIGHT and even then
Gosh, this is my experience exactly. The one thing that has shifted over the years (my oldest is ten now) was that I started having friends over to cook together (weekend lunch, not weekday dinner). Improving the grown-up-to-kid-ratio made it possible for the kids to help a little without me losing it :)
YES - more adults is almost always the answer I fear! This feels much more achievable.
Let those things go. As a GenXer - hell our parents didn't play with us! I didn't go to camp! I was in Girl Scouts and after I quit that, anything I did was through school. They did spring for the flute, for the free lessons at school.
YOU *ARE* GOOD ENOUGH
I do feel like there is a culture shift among Millennials of doing EVERYTHING with kids which I can't really participate in - because I cannot! That said, I do enjoy doing some of the things! Just not all of them, and not all the time, and I think that's probably true of most of us. I genuinely love traveling with my kids and I like to do art, pool, just ... not cooking never cooking.
Yesss I have considered getting those fancy stools and finally was like, yeah I’m never doing this. Foldable, ugly step stool it is. I don’t like maniacally cooking while kids want to also participate, but I do have to slow down and remember they just want to learn and it’s good and all the things. It’s a balance for me, not doing the “all in and helping” all the time and not fully - get out of my kitchen! It’s okay to not enjoy every part perfectly and that was a lesson I had to learn after awhile.
My best friend makes blackberry jam with her daughter every year. The jam judges me. It hates me. Because I cannot make jam. I definitely cannot make jam with my daughter. For the record, my BFF does not care I do not make jam. My husband does not care. But it still bothers me. That blackberry jam. That my daughter won't even eat; she likes grape jelly.
I can make volcanoes and milk plastic. I know which light in the night sky is Jupiter. I make dinosaur fossils she can crack open with her tiny hands. Then we eat PB & J. The J stands for "Welch's Squeeze Concord Grape Jelly".
You're doing great. We all are.
Cooking with small children sounds terrifying and unsafe. My mom (I'm older Gen X) would let is be in the kitchen and would talk with us while she was cooking, but not over by the stove or doing things we could get hurt by. As we got older she would let us perform age-appropriate tasks, then more complex things. As teens we were allowed to start planning an preparing meals if we wanted to. Her approach kept us safe, her sane, and the family from eating too many gross meals.
Young children learning that some things and places aren't ok for them - yet - is as important as them learning new skills. Staying away from danger and not screwing things up is important too.