Sugar: It's Good For the Soul (Guest Post)

Yes, sugar is bad for you. But also, let's let kids have it.

The Pomegranate is delighted to feature our first guest post today! Cartoons Hate Her is an anonymous humor and parenting Substack writer (currently the #2 humor Substack.) She writes about all types of social dynamics, including parenting, marriage, dating, sex, friendships and even weird online dramas. She also writes about OCD and mental health. Long story short: social dynamics from the hybrid brain of a terminally online normie liberal mom.

One of my most vivid childhood memories was donut-related. My mom and I were on a college tour road trip, and at one point we passed by a crappy Dunkin Donuts at a rest stop. I thought out loud, “I’m craving a donut right now.” My mom turned to me and said, “You know, we could just have donuts for lunch. It’s allowed.” She promptly turned the car around and we ate donuts for lunch.

The donut itself wasn’t good for me. I’m sure it was full of seed oils, Red 40, and of course, sugar. But the donut itself reminded me of an earlier childhood memory—a scene from SpongeBob SquarePants in which SpongeBob urges Squidward to try a krabby patty because “it’s good for you.” Squidward retorts that such food is terrible for you, and SpongeBob immediately adopts an angelic, celestial voice and responds, “They’re good for your soul.” That’s kind of how I feel about that donut, or occasional sugary treats in general.

Now, for an adult memory. When I was in my early twenties, I found myself attending a one-year-old’s birthday party (regrettably, I’m sure I was wearing a bandage dress and five-inch cork wedges.) One thing that stuck out to me was that the baby’s smash cake was sugar-free, sweetened only with applesauce. I didn’t want to judge the parents, but it felt a bit… much. Surely, it was just one day, and just one cake. Very little of it was actually going to get into the baby. My smash cake had been the Duncan Hines box brand, same for my brother. I later continued the tradition with my own kids, because it was kind of funny to see them, after not having had sugar for their whole lives, suddenly discover it and go buck-wild. The phobia of sugar—even just for one cake on one day, for a child with no sugar-related health conditions—felt a bit silly.

I don’t think that one-year-old (who is now a perfectly fine teenage girl) was made worse by the no doubt unsatisfying smash cake. I’m sure it was a lot of extra work for the mom, who didn’t really have to do it, but this was her first child and we’ve all done something a bit neurotic for our first child, right? Now of course, the teenage girl doesn’t remember the cake, but babies can’t remember anything, so by that logic we shouldn’t do anything fun for babies that won’t enrich them long-term in some way, and that’s just a bit sad. My babies did not remember their goofy party hats from Etsy or their pastel party decorations, but I’m glad I did those too, even if my husband thought they were a waste of money.

But as kids get older, they start remembering things, and that means they remember sugar. We’re told over and over again that sugar is bad for them, and while I tend to err on the side of not wanting to guilt moms, I’m going to admit that sugar is bad for you, especially in the form of processed fruit snacks like Gushers, and other delectable kid slop. But some sugar is, in my opinion, good for them. And not in the “actually raw honey is a superfood” way (although I do use raw honey liberally in chia seed pudding for my toddler) but in a different way. Frankly, a little bit of sugar is good for your soul.

I never thought I’d be neurotic about sugar (and I’m not, although I’m plenty neurotic about other things) and it’s good I gave up on the sugar thing early because my older child has such severe picky eating that he’s scared off two separate feeding therapists (I wrote about that here.) We don’t make a habit of giving him processed foods, and he gets most of his nutrients from a calorie-dense smoothie that his pediatrician loves because it keeps him at a healthy weight. But his picky eating isn’t his fault, and is arguably part of a larger sensory processing disorder. While it’s tempting to restrict sweets until he starts eating vegetables (in non-smoothie form) I simply don’t want to rob him of those childhood memories—like the one I had with my mother and the donuts. Besides, once you have an extreme picky eater you start to get really excited about them trying new foods, even if the new food is an almond croissant (I’m not joking. I would literally pay money to expand his culinary horizons to desserts that aren’t chocolate. In fact, I have! Not that it worked—again, both therapists ran screaming into the night.)

My child probably gets more sugar than he “should.” I set my silly rules for it, which might ultimately mean nothing but make me feel better. For example, outside of holidays like Halloween, no gummy/sour candy (mostly for tooth decay reasons). When I can, I try to make sure the sugar he’s eating comes from a baked good with real ingredients, as opposed to candy. But also, whatever. Sometimes it can be candy. We don’t make a habit of having candy in the house, or buying candy every time we pass a Walgreens, but again: good for the soul. We have a hilarious video of him discovering a Reese’s peanut butter cup for the first time and loudly declaring, “Mmmm!” in an adorable duck costume. That video would never exist if we had limited him to freeze-dried apples that night.

And besides, at some point, kids are going to discover sugar. Eliminating it entirely can only go so far, because one day they’ll go to a friend’s house, have a piece of candy, and then become obsessed with it (although I’m hearing parents are increasingly eschewing playdates, which seems not terribly healthy either.) The best thing you can do—at least I assume, from my limited experience as a mom of two young children—is to allow sugar, but make the most of it. Unless you’re really in a bind, don’t waste a sugar quotient on a dry granola bar that doesn’t even taste good, which they’ll never remember. Make a fun cake together. Surprise your kid with a chocolate bar after school when they least expect it. Make memories. Because sugar, ultimately, is good for the soul.

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