16 Comments

I maintain that buying a steady supply of out-of-season fruit is one of the biggest secret expenses of having a kid 🫠🍓🍇

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I am still laughing. You might be the cure for Trump induced depression.

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Soooo relatable!

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🤣 oh man. The tickets to the dance recital got me. 😵‍💫

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For me it was the spirit week T-shirts. I'm thankful that not all my kids have cared about spirit week themes — but the ones who did care would only remember about it the night before or the morning of!

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I so admire all of today’s moms! Love your sense of humor!! ☺️

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No wonder I’m poor 🤣🤣

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Price of eggs has nothing on the price of grapes 🥲

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The big problem is that the grapes go down easier

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Or up, as the case may be 😳

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Oh Damn, those are rookie numbers. You forgot the ten tonnes of crap you buy for the first child because “you never know and the book said you needed it.” Then there’s the six tonnes for each subsequent child because it’s nice for them to have their own things and you can justify this but recognising which of the first ten tonnes you don’t need.

Then there’s the Christmas’s

The school bonding trips

School lunches

School clothes

School equipment

Out of school clothes

Holidays

Summer camps and holiday activities so you can carry on working whilst the school isn’t open

More Christmas’s

Birthdays

Guilt purchases because you work long hours to pay the bills and don’t feel you spend enough time with your kids.

The list goes on and on

And then they grow up and still don’t leave home because it’s your fault you single-handedly crashed the housing market by stretching yourself paper thin to buy a house you can all live in, in an area where you like to live that has decent access to school where they might get something resembling an education.

Oh and don’t forget Uni / College 😱🤯🥵😬😵‍💫☠️

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Sorry, I omitted some in the name of comedic rhythm.

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You left out team sports for your budding Sandy Koufax (mitts, bats, uniforms he’ll never wear after the season ends). Oh the joy of driving hither and yon through rush hour traffic to take the junior outfielder to games dozens of miles away. Then compound that by flag football, basketball and soccer. Each of which seems to require its own special uniform and shoes. After all, no self respecting baller would ever let themself be seen in all purpose sneakers.

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💯 I was just trying to save the rest of the readers from sinking too much into a pit of despair.

To paraphrase the old poem “for the want of a condom, your life savings were lost” 😞

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Simply too accurate!

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I seriously laughed out loud. This was very fun. But just wait til they get older, the tween and teen list is even longer....(no do not buy them a car! Stay with the Power Wheels)

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